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So much has been written about Ned, the pick of the crop must be "A Short Life" by Australia's leading Kelly authoritarian, Ian Jones.

So, Instead we'll have a look at some of the champions enemies. 

Ned and his family were harassed and victimized. His Sisters treated unfairly, his Mother lagged on the evidence of a drunken - good for nothing copper..."The Victorian Police"...Or as Ned called them… a parcel of big ugly fat-necked wombat headed big bellied magpie legged narrow hipped splay-footed sons of Irish Bailiffs or English landlords  

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just look at this disgraceful lot...

 

Const Alexander Fitzpatrick: The drunken, lazy coward who attempted to issue a warrant on Ned's brother Dan, and, while at it,  also thought that he should attempt an "outrage" on Ned's sister Kate, a beautiful teenage girl.

Fitzpatrick 

In Jerilderie, February 1879 Ned was supposed to have told his captive audience:

"I swear I was 400 miles away from home when I heard of how he treated my sister. I hurried home and found I had been accused of shooting Fitzpatrick, I don't like to present a revolver at any man, as it naturally makes him tremble, unless I am compelled to do so, and what must have been the feelings of my sister-a mere child-when she had a revolver put to her head, demanding her to submit her virtue, or be shot by Fitzpatrick." 

A scuffle erupted into shots being fired and the cowardly Fitzpatrick soon left with an injured wrist. Whether or not Ned was present that day we shall never know for sure, but we do know that this "Trooper" was the cause of the Kelly outbreak.

Later, Ned would say of Fitzpatrick'

"He looks a young, strapping, rather genteel man more fit to be a starcher to a laundress than a policeman for to the keen observer he has the wrong appearance...to have anything like a clear conscious or a manly heart...The deceit and cowardice is too plain to be seen in the puny cabbage hearted looking face".

The drunken Fitzpatrick hauled young Kate Kelly onto his knee, to which Dan Kelly took great offence and clamped 'Heenan's Hug' onto the inebriated coward and threw him to the floor. He was then supposedly attacked and shot by Ned, Dan and his mother, Ellen.

Fitzpatrick appeared before the Kelly Royal Commission on July 6th 1881and swore under oath that:

Obviously a false statement, Ned Kelly was a marksman and I think even my dear old grandmother could plug a drunken copper at 5 feet.

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Lonigan - Scanlon - Kennedy - McIntyre: The four policemen, who set out to blow the Kelly gang to bits, and as a pre-thought, packed leather straps in their saddle bags to cart the remains proudly home.

Lonigan, Scanlon and Kennedy wound up shot and McIntyre spent the night cowering in a wombat hole because these fools  were beaten by better men! 

 Of course the killing of police or any innocents is definitely something no person could acknowledge, but  these men set out with the sole purpose of shooting the Kelly gang like dogs. The gang bailed up two of the policemen at Stringybark Creek... 

"They know, and acknowledge, i have been wronged"

In Ned's words:

"McIntyre laid the gun against the stump, and Lonigan sat on the log. I advanced, my brother Dan keeping McIntyre covered. I called on them to throw up their hands. McIntyre obeyed and never attempted to reach for his gun and revolver. Lonigan ran to a bettery (Ned's spelling) of logs and put his head up to take aim at me when I shot him, or he would have shot me.'

Ned continues:

"The other two men, who had no fire-arms (Steve and Joe), came up when they heard the shot fired and went back to our camp for fear the police might call there in our absence and surprise us on our arrival. My brother went back to the spring and I stopped at the spring with McIntyre. Kennedy and Scanlon came up. McIntyre said he would get them to surrender if I sparred their lives as well as his. I said I did not know either him, Scanlon or Kennedy, and had nothing up against them, or would not shoot any of them if they gave up their fire-arms and promised to leave the Force, as it was the meanest billet in the world. They are worse than cold-blooded murderers and hangmen."

Well, as history remembers, Scanlon turned his horse to gallop away, but instead , turned and fired his rifle on Ned. Joe Byrne then placed a well aimed round in the policeman. Kennedy then fired on Dan and ran to shelter behind a tree. He fired again and was shot in the arm-pit.

Three Policemen lay dead or dying... McIntyre jumped on Kennedy's horse and bolted for his life.

Ned said that Kennedy was the "Bravest man he ever heard of."

 "With the exception of Lonigan. I did not begrudge him what bit of lead he got, as he was the flashest, meanest man that I ever had any account against, for him Fitzpatrick, Sergeant Wheelan, Constable Day and King the boot maker once tried to handcuff me at Benalla, and when they could not, Fitzpatrick tried to choke me. Lonigan caught me by the privates (this was an English police method of the time called "Blackballing") and would have killed me, but was not able." This cannot be called wilful murder, for I was compelled to shoot them in my own defence, or lie down like a cur and die. Certainly their wives and children are to be pitied, but they must remember those men came into the bush with the intention of scattering pieces of me and my brother all over the bush."

McIntyre rode furiously for a mile or two, and after being knocked from his horse by a branch, ran a further mile on foot until he came upon a wombat hole and squirmed into it, feet first. He lay there until dark, waiting for the sounds of pursuit. He eventually came out of his hole and continued onto a homestead a few miles from Mansfield reporting the incident.

Thus ends the infamous "Stringybark Creek" shoot out.

In times of war, the Kelly's would have received medals for this act of bravery or at the least, self preservation. Yes, policemen were killed, but they surely must have known of Fitzpatrick's character and Ned said himself that "They had the intention of shooting me down like a dog, yet they know and acknowledge I have been wronged".

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Sergeant Arthur Steele: This murderous bastard shot at women and children at the "Last Stand" in Glenrowan.

Sergeant Arthur Loftus Steele

After finally showing up in Glenrowan around 5.30 am in the morning of the siege, this "Officer" came attired in tweed hat and jacket, with long waterproof leggings, a double barrel shot gun, and was reported to be in the mood to... shoot anything that moves

"By Christ!, I've shot old Mother Jones in the Arse!"

Well, he did. A woman and her child to be exact. This brave lady's name was Margaret Reardon and as she and her family tried to escape the avalanche of police fire upon the "Jones's Inn", these are her words:

" I put the little girl out in the yard, and she screamed, and I came out myself next. One of the outlaws (by the voice I took it to be Dan Kelly) said, 'if you escape- and I said," What shall I do?" and he said, "See Hare, and tell him to keep his men from shooting till daylight, and to allow all these people to go out, and we shall fight for ourselves." I came out into the yard and I screamed to the police to have mercy on me. I said, 'I am only a woman, allow me to escape with my children;' and I added ' the outlaws will not interfere with us-do not you.' A voice said "Put up your hands and come this way or I will shoot you like bloody dogs... It was Sergeant Steele... I put my baby under my arm and held up my hand, and my son let go one hand and held the other child by it, and we went straight on. The man commenced firing and he kept on firing at us...I then turned and went down along the fence towards the railway station, and two shots went directly after me, and two went through the shawl that was covering my baby. I felt my arm shaking, and I said 'Oh you have shot my child.' My son was close behind me...and he said,' Mother come back, you will be shot' and I said, 'I will not go back; I might as well be shot outside as inside;' but I said, 'I do not think the coward can shoot me.'

Margaret Reardon was taken to the railway station by Jesse Dowsett, a Benalla railway guard and a genuine hero of the siege. Baby Bridget's forehead was slightly grazed by a shotgun slug fired by this murderous rogue known as Steele. A policeman called Constable Arthur called to Steele during this cowardly act, 'If you fire at that woman again, I'm damned if I don't shoot you!" It seems some police sanity prevailed... 

Meanwhile, Steele reloaded his shotgun and lined up Margaret's son, Michael, who was trying to get back inside the inn, and was also helping his other little sister out of Steele's murderous sights when Steele let go both barrels at the unfortunate lad, and sent him reeling with a blast to the back. After the siege, some four hours later, young Michael was taken to see a doctor. He was in a bad way , but he would survive.

At the end of the siege, that is to say before the police set fire to the Inn, a call was made to the prisoners to come out or the police would begin another volley of hot fire. As the terrified people came running out, just imagine the added fear when an excited policeman called out... 'Let us polish off this lot...'

Ned was finally captured with around 30 gunshot wounds to his body.
In a lighter moment, when Ned appeared in armour firing at the police, Constable Arthur later said "I thought at first it was some madman in the horrors who had put some nail can on his head"

The coward Steele was awarded £290 13 9 for his part in shooting innocent men, women and children at Glenrowan...

Again more examples of Victoria's finest back on the 28th June 1880.

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Senior Constable Edward Hall: The  Greta policeman with a penchant for knuckling the locals


The Cowardly Const. Hall

On the 14 April 1871, a horse breaker by the name of "Wild  Wright" came to visit the Kelly farm. The young Ned had just been released from prison, after serving three months for 'Violent Assault' and 'Sending Indecent Letters' (a parcel was sent to a bogged hawker's wife containing a set of calves testicals with a note instructing the lady "She might want to tie these items to her husbands own cock so he might shag her better next time") anyway, Ned used a horse that Wild had with him, not knowing the animal was stolen. He took it for a ride into Wangarratta and stayed for four days, even letting the local girls have a ride on the mare. 

As Ned was leaving town, Constable Hall told the young Kelly that he had some papers that needed signing in regard to some sureties to keep the peace. Ned replied "I have done my time, i will sign nothing", Hall then declared that Ned was under arrest for horse stealing, and made a grab for the young champion. He came unstuck and landed on his arse.

Here's Ned's account:

'Instead of me putting my foot on Hall's neck, and taking his revolver and putting him in the lock-up, I tried to catch the mare.'

Hall presented the revolver straight at Ned's face and pulled the trigger. The weapon failed. The young Kelly rallied.

Ned Continues

"I kept throwing him in the dust until I got him across the street the very spot where Mrs O'Brien's Hotel stands now the celler was just dug then there was some brush fencing where the post and rail was taking down and on this I threw big cowardly Hall on his belly I straddled him and rooted both spurs into his thighs he roared like a big calf attacked by dogs and shifted several yards of fence I got his hands at the back of his neck and tried to make him let go of the revolver but he stuck to it like grim death to a dead volunteer he called for assistance to a man named Cohen and Barnett, Lewis, Thompson, Jewitt and two blacksmiths who was looking on. I dare not strike any of them as I was bound to keep the peace or I could have spread those curs like dung in a paddock they got ropes and tied my hands and feet and Hall beat me over the head with his six chambered Colts revolver".

Hall belted Ned over the head with this gun 5 or 6 times...with all his might, no doubt leaving terrible wounds to the lad's head. Ned was hauled to the lock-up and eventually, received nine stitches to the lacerations. Hall should have been tried for attempted murder on a mere suspicion that Ned's horse was stolen. But of course aiming and discharging a revolver and then pistol whipping a sixteen year old's head was not a problem in those days. So, after three months on remand , Ned was convicted and sent back to prison for THREE years. How much more could a man take?

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Sir Redmond Barry: A pompous twit, more suited to Her majesty's royal shoe shine, than sender of men to their deaths.

Sir Redmond Barry

This idiots life revolved around the Melbourne Gentlemen's clubs. To put it mildly, he was a complete wanker.

Anyone interested in Australian history should have read the court transcripts between this "gentleman" and Ned.

Judge Barry: “You are self-accused. The statement was made voluntarily by yourself that you and your companions committed attacks on two banks, and appropriated there from large sums of money amounting to several thousands of pounds. Further, I cannot conceal from myself the fact that an expenditure of 50,000 pounds has been rendered necessary in consequence of acts with which you and your party have been connected. We have had samples of felons, all of whom have come to ignominious deaths. Still the effect expected from their punishment has not been produced. This is much to be deplored. When such examples as those are so often repeated society must be reorganized, or it must soon be seriously affected. Your unfortunate and miserable companions have died a death which probably you might rather envy, but you are not offered the opportunity.”

He then placed the black cap on his fat carbuncled head and pronounced the death sentence on Ned

“I will go a little further than that, and say I will see you there when I go.” said Ned... and hopefully he did.

 

Defiant until the very end...


 

After the Fitzpatrick outrage on the Kelly family and Ellen's six months spent on remand, Sir Redmond sentenced his mother (with three day old baby Alice in arms) to three years hard labour for the "Attempted Murder" of Fitzpatrick. He also claimed that if Ned were here, standing beside his mother, he would have received a sentence of 15 years! Today, this fool would be given the same for purveying the course of justice.

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Inspector Alexander Brooke Smith: A walking disaster in every conceivable fashion. He bullied the Kelly woman, modeled his appearance to that of a poodle dog and showed complete fear and laziness when it came to pursuing the gang.

Supt Charles Nicolson claimed this man to be " A wreck both in body and mind...He seems to go about muttering and speaking incoherently about the Kelly's. On the idea of suicide, Nicolson said "I don't think Brookes has the courage for that remedy"...

Ned had a few thoughts on this fellow too:

"that article that reminds me of a poodle dog half clipped in the lion fashion" (he had an atrocious beard and hair style that would make Johnny Rotten cringe), He knows as much about commanding police as Captain Standish does about mustering mosquitoes and boiling them down for their fat on the back blocks of the Lachlan, for he has a head like a turnip, a stiff neck as big as his shoulders, narrow hipped and pointed towards the feet like a vine snake. If there is anyone to be called a murderer regarding Kennedy, Scanlon and Lonigan it is that misplaced poodle...He gets as much pay as a dozen good troopers, if there is any good in them, and what does he do for it? He cannot look behind him without turning his whole frame. It takes three or four police to keep sentry while he sleeps in Wangaratta for fear of body snatchers.

Ned's mother, Ellen had thoughts on this scoundrel too:

Mr. Brook Smith was the worst behaved of the force, and had less sense than any of them. He used to throw things out of the house, and he came in once to the lock-up staggering drunk. I did not like his conduct. That was at Benalla. I wonder they allowed a man to behave as he did to an unfortunate woman.

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Thomas 'Ginge'  Curnow: The crippled Glenrowan school teacher with a taste for blood money and deceit 


The Ginger Bastard

"Go quietly to bed, and don't dream too loud"

This fool takes the cake when it comes to treachery at the highest level. After he and his family were detained and escorted to Jones's Inn, he started gaining Ned's trust. Here's Curnow's words:

"The intention to do something to baffle the murderous designs grew on me, and I resolved to do my utmost to gain the confidence of the outlaws, and to make them  believe me to be a sympathizer with them."

"By God!" exclaimed Kelly, "that bastard Curnow has deceived us!"



 rare picture of the scarf Thomas Curnow used to stop the Police Special at Glenrowan
The scarf was apparently made from llama hair

In the late afternoon, the gang decided to detain the local Constable, Hugh Bracken. Curnow asked Ned if he and his family could  head home. "Go quietly to bed, and don't dream too loud" was Ned's reply. His wife and mother-in-law obeyed, telling Curnow to forget the idea of riding in to Benalla to warn the police, but he persisted with his plan of seeing Ned's call for the "Republic of North East Victoria" stopped. On hearing the special train coming, The 25 year old Thomas Curnow waved a red scarf in front of a candle at the oncoming train. When the driver slowed down and asked "What's the matter?" Curnow yelled "The Kelly's".


We know the rest...

The board appointed to distribute the reward money of £8000 for the capture of the Kelly gang, presented him with £550, and Supt Hare received £800. Instead of being happy with this small fortune, Curnow petitioned for more and the school teachers share was increased to £1000 (around two hundred and fifty thousand dollars in today's money).

Jesse Dowsett, saviour to Margaret Reardon during the siege, received £175  13 Shillings and nine pence, the remainder going to Police and double agents.

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Mick Jagger: The rubber lipped dribbler who'd be better of playing Christopher Skase in a film than a stand-in to utter the immortals words.

In the early 1970's, Mick Jagger starred in a nauseating movie, known as "Ned Kelly". The 169cm, 57kg rock-star was unable to pick up Ned's helmet and armour so they had to make a replica out of fibreglass...

I remember sitting up late one night to watch  this movie... Sleeping in the next day was better.

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